It sounds weird to think about it that way.
This is both Day 1 and Day 1150.
There are so many things that have happened in the last few months that I really just don’t know where to start.
So I’ll start at the beginning.
With three years, one month and 24 days ago when I left Texas. God, the woman I was then is not the woman I am now. It’s both good and bad.
I have different hopes, similar dreams, and few new habits to go with it. I still have the same food allergies but they derail me less often because I decided that I really didn’t like feeling awful all the time for foods that weren’t that good for me in the first place.
I’m leaving another place that I call home and will never forget.
I learned things here.
Things about myself, about others, about how to deal with others, about how others deal with me. The last three years here has taught me a thing or six.
I know more about why certain habits made me feel better about myself and why others didn’t.
I learned to stack my habits.
I learned to make them matter.
I learned that I will never fully understand everything and sometimes it’s okay to just sit there in the miracle.
I have two nephews now, and they could not be more different.
I have figured out that every choice I made from the moment I was born has brought me to the moment here and now.
There were no shortcuts. There were no changes I would have made. It could not have been better, it could not have been worse.
But I am done hiding into myself.
This next chapter is about my change, my ‘another’ chance (because this really isn’t my second or my third chance).
This time it is different. There is a subtle but important difference.
I am okay with being a fluffy porkupine. I am okay and happy with the person I am rather than always trying to change what her core is because it doesn’t look like anyone else.
I am spikes and protection, and I have a soft underbelly of care that will probably get me into trouble (again).
For almost a decade I have had a yearly motto. I decided that I didn’t keep resolutions and I should stop setting myself up for failure and just have a direction to fly towards.
That whole no resolutions things lasted for five years, but I did keep the motto thing.
2020 was Juice (Just) Concentrate. It has not happened as I intended. I thought it was going to be about getting all my projects worked on because I knocked them out one at a time.
That was not how this worked. Instead this year has been more like going through a grinder that is what makes juice concentrate. The whole shredding and mixing process that creates a thing that can do lost of things depending on the type of fruit you were to begin with.
I was definitely a lemon, and now it’s time to mix that concentrate and make some lemonade. Might be lemonade whisky, but we’ll see.
So here is to another adventure, another chapter, another moment where everything is going to pivot from what I know and care about to other things that I love and care about.
Music City, here I come.