Site Migration

FeaturedSite Migration

Hey there, so it’s been a while… sort of.

So I made the decision to put everything together and make my work a little more cohesive.

The new site is and I’m sure that you’ll like to see the new work.

Also if you’d like to sign up for the newsletter that comes out feel free to click this link here.

Thanks y’all.

J Joy


Choose Your Projects

There are so many things that need to get done in our lives. Some of them we can do ourselves and others we already know that we have to get someone else to do it, like changing our brake pads (ugh, not that I would know that one). But there are those tasks that are just outside of our current knowledge that we could do, but is it worth it?

Out of necessity (my bank account) I’ve done a lot of projects that were not the best quality because my skill wasn’t the greatest but they got the job done because well, I couldn’t find exactly what I wanted for a price I could afford. Lately, though, I’ve started treating money as more of a tool and less of a restriction (which is mostly a mindset sort of thing than anything) and had two projects I’d like to share with you.

I’ve mentioned that I got my RAM replaced on the computer I use. It’ll be 8 in February, and I really wasn’t ready to replace it. It’s been a good little computer and well made. I have like 4 scratches on it over its lifetime. That’s pretty good. I consulted some wonderful people ( in person and the internet) and all of them agreed that I could probably make my computer much happier if I replaced the RAM. I was raised by a guy who likes computers and helped him build one when I was in high school. Those skills are severely outdated but I could do it, couldn’t I?

Yeah, and spend two hours agonizing over having bought the right part, while waiting for it to arrive and then spend three hours taking my computer apart and putting it back to together again only to forget a step to make sure that the computer saw the new hardware.

Or I could spend 40$ more for the part and labor of having someone else who likes to do the stuff and have him do it in 10 minutes and no worries about the part and leave in less than 30 minutes with a working and much happier computer that doesn’t do the whirring sound of “I’M TIRED MOM” that I’ve been hearing for at least a year?

Yeah, I paid someone to do it. It was worth not worrying about it.

Now project two was a different matter. I have a paper planner and it’s a 7×9 size that I have wavered between and keep coming back to. So now that I know that I’m committed to it, I want to have a heavy-duty cover that will keep my bits and pieces that go with it together and not have anything fall out. And I kept finding things that I like parts of, but couldn’t find anything (all 7 pages of Etsy listings, too) that had all the pockets I wanted in the sizes I wanted with the sturdier cover than the plastic thing that I currently have. So I made something.

It’s not the greatest sewing I’ve ever done. I wouldn’t market it and sell it to other people. It doesn’t even really have a pattern other than the measuring of my current planner that I did to make sure it would fit.

And I’m happier with it than previous attempts to make something similar.


Because I had done the research and found that nothing matched exactly what I needed. I had eliminated one thing or another and I didn’t even look at the prices. There were a few things that came close and then I compared the time that I would spend to make them fit and it was the same as if I had just made the whole thing.  It’ll probably get some modifications over time, but I can see this thing that I made being used and wanted for a while. Maybe I’ll remake it when it falls apart or my sewing gets a whole lot better. Or I find someone who can make the same thing a whole lot better.

The point is, your time is what matters

When you stop measuring things in money but in the amount of time they will take, the world will be yours. It’s about how you spend your life and your happiness. There are times to suffer and put up with things because they are the groundwork that gets you to the fun stuff. Sometimes, it’s the collateral damage in a situation that you can’t change because you want people in your lives and you have to deal with them and their idiosyncrasies, because you can’t change other people.  That’s another fact you have to learn to live with. I can’t help you learn it, I haven’t mastered it yet but it’s definitely something that I’m working on.


Sorry, this is late, I was busy dealing with Hurricane Dorian prep. Not all clear here yet, but enough of my worrying and I need to give myself something productive to do.

Letter to the Monster Under the Bed

To: Monster Under the Bed.

No, I’m not speaking of my sister.
who was chronically on the lower bunk
I’m talking to the vampires;
we wrapped up so tightly
against, blankets tucked under our ears.

you remind my imagination
and kept me on my toes, my mind
made scary movies a grand no-go

but I’ve grown now and I realize
monsters are very rarely
hiding under the bed.

they look you in the eye and smile
they come with promises and dreams
that shatter under commitment

your dreams are too big,
they’re impossible,
you’re not enough

This monster is usually in the mirror.
Worst part is when you come out,
speaking for me, bridges burning
before I get back under control

and I can’t decide if you were right
that they were a waste of time
they would only hurt me long-term
and I’ll do much better alone.

The best is when you shut doors
people keep opening that
I’ve already closed three times
lock and deadbolted, too.
But I’ll thank you, for now
you’ve made sure I knew
that everyone has this side
of the monster that hides
under the bed, waiting

to be Mr. Hyde.

So thanks,


On Time Today

That look again, I was even on time
Today. The bus even got here later
than usual. Only a minute, but a minute
means a lot to you. Sorry, I’m not perfect.
I can not get to class when I would
rather walk in the door at eighteen.
But you’re making me want to walk
in at the ultimate last second. Too bad
my personality won’t let me wait to irritate.
Lucky you. Fighting MST is a habit,
I won’t break even for a judgmental being.

Through the years, I’ve seen the full effects
of MST. It debilitates, languidizes, and slows
the best of us. It forces calculations to
deal with basic and advanced forms of this.
Monica Standard Time is a disease,
Ranging from fifteen to forty-five minutes
LATE. I thankfully have BMST, the other
kind that does the calculations. The one
that shows up fifteen to thirty minutes early,
if they are given a chance, else they arrive
as early as physically or metaphorically as


Little By Little

We all hate cleaning. It sucks. It reminds us that we are human that we don’t have these magical lives that everything messy gets cleaned up right away.

But you can keep it from overtaking you.

I was taught at a young age that cleaning only took the time you gave it. My mother loves to recount a roommate who thought it took three hours to clean the bathroom and do the bare minimum after she had cleaned it (sink, bath, toilet, and floor) in about 30 minutes of work and about 10 for it to dry. I grew up dreading Saturday morning chores like the rest of you, but I was expected to get them all done in the morning. The afternoon was for fun stuff. My mother probably started my love of life hacks and she began, most appropriately, with FLY lady.

Also, we’re gonna get some ranting out of the way about a roommate who ‘can’t’ clean.

The first trick I really didn’t get until I was living on my own was the two-minute rule. It didn’t make sense because I was usually cleaning up after five people and that never took two minutes. Especially dishes.

But when you live alone, the dishes only take twice as long as it does for the water to heat up. And any other chore you can think of can be broken up into a smaller chunk. Don’t vacuum the whole house, but just a room at a time. leave the vacuum out. Unless you have guests actually coming over, no one cares if it’s out and then you don’t have to go and get it out if you need it.

So, because you have to wait for the water to heat up I created my favorite dorky rule– If you cook, you clean.

Yeah, I know I’m about to get some comments, but let’s head them off. 

If you’re cooking, like noodles or rice, this works really well. While things are cooking you clean the kitchen. You wash dishes, you unload the dishwasher, you wipe the counter. I manage to make noodles that aren’t hard and crunchy this way, mainly because I’m standing there watching it boil. I even leave the rice alone so that they aren’t the soggy stuff.  Talk about improvements to my cooking.

This is the point where you do the tasks you really can’t do in small bits. It works if I’m baking best but vacuuming when I have something in the oven makes all the bad smells go away with the smell of whatever yummy thing I’m making and also makes my floor feel nice.

Did I mention I hate the sound of a vacuum? The sound just gets my brain all wonky and I don’t like it. I intentionally didn’t own a vacuum for several years and just swept the floor. Do you know how much hair I always found? It was ridiculous.

Anyways, back to the little things that you do that add up.

The first rule of cleaning that anyone should learn– it’s really the only rule– is that if it takes two minutes don’t put it off.

This works really nice in real life too, but I’m not preaching that today.

Making my bed takes two minutes.
Brushing my teeth takes two minutes.
Dirty clothes in the hamper take less than two minutes.
Wiping the counter after you wash your face doesn’t take two minutes.

I’ve been told that doing the little things to upkeep your cleaning doesn’t actually keep if clean but really, it does.

The little things add up, even in cleaning and you know. Sometimes if you just clean the baseboards the whole room looks cleaner. Even if that’s the only thing that you got to. Also, the momentum when you get going and the pride you get when something looks clean, use that.

Call it what you want, but the little things always add up.

Little by little you’ll get it done.




You’d think this would be one of the first games to learn
But I’ve never started my education in the right places.

I learned to run before I figured out how to walk
I figured multiplication before I figured out addition.
I was teaching before I really figured it out myself.

Hell, there were a few times I was figuring it out
as the words came out of my mouth.

So it would make sense that the latest game I’ve learned

was the first for everyone else. And of course,
an unwanted friend came for the show-off.

It makes sense that I’m going for a matching game
when I’ve got skills to learn it all, there were reasons
I wasn’t allowed to watch MacGuyver… thanks Mom.

I’m pretty sure she just wanted to keep her house
in one piece and keep the police from being buddy-buddy.

But back to the game, where we specifically took them out
And yet, he’s found his way into my hand. And since,
there really isn’t a card to beat him, I won. And took the deck

At this point, I’ve got a solid collection of the cards
That find their way into games and decks
where they have no place.

I realize that this is a message for my life,
I realize that I’ll make it out of anything
If only for the focus of getting out alive
And I’ll make it with skin and teeth intact
Screaming the whole damn way along.

I didn’t wake up with this thought, well
All right, it had been stewing for a while
Weeks maybe, before I finally got it.

I’m always going to play the card that can’t be played
Because I wasn’t meant to be the same
I wasn’t meant to settle for something that might
or might not work out. I’ll make it work.
It’ll be fun, to watch the new folks to the party
figure out, that battles are won

But wars never end.



Poetry slam in class today
Funny the look I got when
I asked a complex question
When it looked like I wasn’t
Paying attention. Maybe I was,
Maybe I wasn’t, that doesn’t matter
I pwn at poetry. I write on
Paper or in my head, it varies
Poetry slam isn’t a worry
For in this class, give me
A chance, don’t judge my dislike
Of how I break a stereotype
Intentionally, I talk in class
And until we write prose, I’m
On par with anyone in class.
He who walks in another’s tracks,
Leaves no footprints, well then,
they are forgotten easily, no
trace to know where they’ve
really been. Sadly, they are
lost in time. I will leaves as
many footprints as I like.


The Little Wins

So obviously, it takes a few weeks for me to learn a lesson, but then again, this is the important kind of lesson. So at least I got the memo this time.

So Tuesday I finally sat down and did a mind dump from start to finish including putting things in the “I don’t give a damn right now” category and the ‘it’s not important right now’ and let me tell you, my mind was a lot easier to deal with over the last week because it wasn’t running in ’40 directions because I hadn’t physically removed things from my to-do list that weren’t complete’.

I wrote more words on a short story in a day than I have since college.
I got stupid little craft/fix projects done yesterday that some of them have been sitting in the project box for six months. These were the thirty minutes or less projects mind you.

I did add something on Saturday that was to make finding my category cards a little easier but it may or may not help everyone. We’ll start with the fact that I was going to do sticky notes in different colors to separate the projects and then break down the things but that didn’t happen.

I used index cards as a category like Fluffy Blogging, Books to Review, General Writing, Small Projects, Couch Project (trust me it gets its own card), and so on. I have four colors to pick from for stickers en masse so the index cards were divided into four large categories — writing, dreams, projects, projects on hold– so that I could visually see what I was looking for. Now, I just pick a card and then pick a thing on it depending on what my priority is right then. So while I’m in my internship, my internship card is there and I just go down the list of things that I can do until I run out or my advisor needs something else done.

I am her minion after all.

Then when I’m looking at other things later when I go home, or out and about during the day, I have a different card there depending on what I want to get done. So Saturday I had the Lefty Website card rolling around because I really needed to make business cards. I don’t need a lot but I needed something that at least looked professional to hand to someone who asked. And that got done–four months after the fact.

Hell, there were a lot of things on that list that should have been off the list if I’d been able to focus the hour of my time it took to actually get it done.

It was also great to just have these things out of my head. I only have so much RAM in my head to sort things and this exercise felt a lot like I was finally shoving things into the long term memory instead of taking up space in an area that was overcrowded enough already.

I also finally got my computer diagnosed even though it’s been giving me angry noises every time I used it. And yes, it was the RAM if you were going to ask.  And you want to know how happy my computer is?

Deliriously happy enough to let me use it for about 12 hours on Tuesday and let me work without freezing up at all. It got a little hot about the same time I should have taken a lunch break but I didn’t so I’ll take that as my fault.

It still wasn’t as hot as it usually got before it froze though.

So the point is, sometimes you have to clean up the clutter in your mind and other times you need to upgrade what’s going on in the space.

If you’re feeling stuck, make sure there isn’t a ton of extra floating around taking up space that really doesn’t need to be there. That’s your first step, you can’t fix anything if you’re not really clear on what the exact problem is. I didn’t just look at my computer and upgrade the RAM. I tried to close programs and see if that helped. Then I looked at the activity monitor and realized that it was using 3.5 of 4 GB of room at all times and there was usage in the compressed memory– the stuff that was sitting in the waiting room for use but not allowed in the back yet.

Yeah, that wasn’t going to work. So I started looking up what it would cost to fix it. I’m decently tech-savvy, but I have no fun tools to do the job and I didn’t want to learn. I have better things to do with my time. Especially when we got the new RAM in, it took my tech about ten minutes to send me out the door with my happy laptop.

It would have taken me two hours to fumble around and do it, and I wouldn’t have been sure I’d done it right. I probably also would have forgotten to reset the computer to look for what was in the RAM slots now vs. before. So yeah, that was a 45$ well spent.

The same goes for you in your mind. Take a look at everything you have to do. Determine what has a deadline. Then figure out what you specifically have to do. Then anything else goes into the ‘do not care right now’ box. If it actually is important but you do not have to do it– DELEGATE.

I’m an intern right now, I am the being my advisor delegates to. She has bigger fish to fry and so I get the little fish and I’m frying them on up.

The little things on your list still need to get done. But they can wait.

Get your priority done and the rest will fall in line.



You learn to lie
by being as obvious as fuck
when you tell the truth
and hold your own

when you lie.

your job is to tell the
truth as much as possible
because if you lie, they’ll know
and you’re not very good at it. yet.

hell, you barely know the cards
this wasn’t your first game
but you’re still learning it
so you know to front load
when you drop extra cards
you learn quickly to find
your place and keep
you needed cards. organize them.
you want four rounds
or less. playing with three.

Don’t oversell, but don’t call
unless you’re damn sure,
you know they’re going to be out
and you’re already clear
to win in a hand or less.

Don’t show your cards
they’ll know you lied
Sometimes you won’t either


Don’t Judge Before You Know

Untaught people shouldn’t teach,
Shouldn’t lecture when they don’t know
What is really happening, they
Should shut up or do something
Not threaten “you should be here
On time: when the bell rings at
twenty-five and you walk into
the building at 22. It takes
three minutes from here to there
add time for morons congesting
the hallways between.
Then take in I forgot to grab
My stuff for class before I left
My fault, I know. The people
stalling the hall aren’t. The
physical distance isn’t, give me a break
as an outsider you forget who is an
outsider and who isn’t. I don’t drive,
I can’t, in every class I can, I’m on
time, takings as little time between classes
outside of class.
Maybe you’re a failure, maybe not
You are lecturing without the whole
Chain of events. Be aware of what’s
going on around you. You might
just learn something